| Counterprotest II |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|08:28 am] |
Happy birthday to me.
(My real birthday is in April, but when I made this journal I randomly chose this as the date. As it's Inferna's birthday on 06/06/06 and it's also the date of manymuch postings, it was apparently a good choice.) |
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| Counterprotest |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|08:23 am] |
A bunch of folks decided not to post on 6/6/06 to protest a rather trivial icon rule that is finally being enforced and boo hoo they don't like it. So I'm updating ALL my journals today, as are many others, so that the "drop in LiveJournal activity" that they're hoping for kind of, well, won't happen. The entitlement mongers think that by not posting for a day they can get their way. Seems like a silly tantrum to me, and counterprotesting with extra updates felt like a mildly Sithly thing to do. So, update.
Inferna is appearing in another fic in a rather evil role. The fic is slash, among other things, but she's back and helping out Lumiya and Welk. She had a daughter with Welk and is using that daughter to touch off a plague specifically targeted at the Jedi. Muah. Jacen and Anakin are the star players (and the pairing), with a heavy dose of Angry Jaina (she's mad at the Sith, not at her brothers - she doesn't know they're even alive, let alone stranded on a planet together and deciding that the other one is kinda hot after all.) Also Lumiya ruling the evil side, with Welk as her Apprentice and Inferna as an assistant troublemaker. The fic can be found at http://crack-empress.livejournal.com/tag/crash-and-burn-posts and is 13 chapters completed, 21 (or thereabouts) left to go.
Also briefly contains Fern's big sister. |
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| Slightly off-topic, even though it is about Darth Inferna. |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|07:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
I was going to make an entry when I finished the fic, and totally forgot about it. :p Remember when I posted an off-topic ficlet part in the journal (and then moved it to my other journal to avoid confusion)? Well, it's now a whole story. And finished.
Sithstrike is Star Wars fanfic (duh) starring Darth Inferna. It's not connected to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) sithrpg except that I used the same basic character template (Name, age, appearance, Force alliance) for my RPG character and fanfic character. It comes in two flavors:
The "strong PG" version is on boards.theforce.net. My username on TFN is AlisonC, and the fic can be found here. In my opinion, this is the better version; it's had one more revision and a few messed up details were corrected. This one has a mixed lightside/darkside ending.
The "mild R" version is on my website beginning with this chapter. The good: More torture, more blood, more agony for Jacen the Jedi, holographic pwnage by Inferna, and the ending is mostly dark. The bad: His eye color is wrong and there really couldn't be a sequel to without HUGE retcons. The ugly: I could have done a better job on one particular duel, and the TFN variant has the rewritten duel. Also, I think there are a few typos. But it's over 30,000 words, so I'm not sweating a few typos (we're talking maybe 5 or 6 for the whole thing.)
All characters are owned by George Lucas or created by me within his universe, no copyright infringement intended, any resemblance to other RPG characters is coincidental, ditto other fics, etc. etc. blah blah blah pineapple. |
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| We are about to land. |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|07:00 pm] |
The galaxy has exploded into war. This is the first time in decades... centuries... probably millennia that there have been so many Sith ready to take on the incompetent fools that have contributed so much to the destruction of all that is natural.
It is not natural for the weak to be in power over the strong.
It is natural for those who deserve power to have it. It is also natural to, some day, die, and in that I think that Sidious is beginning to overstep his bounds. No matter what, we are hurtling towards entropy and chaos. We are the small forces pushing against it, leaving our trails on what is ultimately a slide to nothingness, taking our roles in this cosmic play. But he is trying to take the stage one too many times. We are lucky to be here, in this small span of time between the beginning and the end, when all has burned out and fizzled into vast darkness. The darkness that we already know, the darkness that we do not run from, the way the wastes of energy and space do.
Still, at least he is not a Jedi. They are the ones who should be loathed most. And until they are gone, I will throw in my lot with Darth Sidious in his newest incarnation. Will the Jedi utopia last forever? Of course it cannot, for there is darkness in everyone, and that which is not ruled with an iron fist will run free. There will be oppression, either by the undeserving or the deserving. We can make all of sentience stand for a moment on the edge of madness and keep it from falling forward into it, unlike them, and they are a threat for this. |
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| One could say... |
[Aug. 14th, 2005|09:02 pm] |
... that the shit just hit the fan. I don't know what the hell is going on, but whatever it is, it's big.
I was delayed getting to Yavin. We agreed to go on and hit the Jedi Temple directly - or rather, those within it - but I couldn't leave immediately because my ship was sabotaged. Luckily, I was able to make enough necessary repairs to take off not far behind, and got there just as the first battle was ending.
One of the Sith has fallen - Lord Paorvosa, one of the most respected of the Sith Masters. The Jedi do not know what a grave mistake they made. If there was ever any doubt over whether we should focus on them or on the cloaked creature whose loyalties are unknown, that doubt is gone. The Jedi must die. They cannot be allowed to strike the children of the Force.
The Republic fleet and a rebel fleet are in space above Yavin as I record this. One of the fallen ships has flattened the Temple. I don't know what effect that will have on the Jedi. I suspect some will be saddened and angered. I am not against the idea of allowing those who are truly of a new heart to join us, but if there is any reason to believe that they are lying, they will be killed without hesitation. As for Infimus - I don't know. From what little information I have, it seems that Skywalker thinks he has purged the good and taken on the mantle of the weak, but I must hope that he is simply drawing the Jedi into trusting him before making a strike. I do not want to have to bring him down.
But whatever must happen will happen. |
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| Those damn Jedi... |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|05:18 pm] |
did something to my ship.
I am going to be several days in fixing it. Looks like a bunch of monkeys ran through here with lightsabers, welding things that shouldn't be welded together and cutting wires.
When I find out who it was, they will be dead. If they aren't dead already. In that case, I'll have to take it out on their friends. |
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| bahleeted! |
[Aug. 7th, 2005|02:12 pm] |
Nothing to see here as it was mildly off-topic. |
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| At last. |
[Aug. 2nd, 2005|10:20 pm] |
We got them.
Three Jedi dead, and all of us remain. Losses minimal; I now have a hole in my pants, though that credit goes to an attack droid and not to any of the Jedi. I don't think they did any damage on their own. To be honest, I don't know if it's that we're so good at what we do, or they're so awful. I think it's both.
Three Knights and all you did was supply a few surface wounds to us and do a little bit of cosmetic damage to supplies. For shame.
I had not killed a Jedi in years. It was everything I remember, but tinted gray. There was little challenge, which made it less satisfying. Perhaps like finding a bit of fruit when one is starving. Good, yes, but it's not enough. If the specimens that came to harass us today are any indication of the state of the new Jedi Order, then we would do well to move quickly and eliminate them all. In the past, there were a few strong enough to escape the wrath of Lord Vader and Lord Sidious. Only two, really. And nobody that lives today can compare to them, except perhaps Skywalker, and with many more than two actively looking for him, he can't run and hide forever. Somehow I don't think he'd try. He seemed too idealistic to live out his live next to a swamp.
I never spent much time with him. If he's managed to dupe over a hundred into following his ways - that's a hundred out of the pool of potential Force "adepts", the ones who actually could do something with his parlor tricks - then he's not a good influence and it's best that we stayed apart. I did meet him when I was sixteen, and it's odd to think that he's only a few years older than I am. Harder even to think that he was Lord Vader's son. That fruit DID fall rather far from the tree. He welcomed me to the Academy, to learn the ways of the Jedi, but left us much to ourselves.
No matter what I do, I can't scrub away the memory of those five months and the taint that came with them. I do know what would help, though - revenge. On him for bringing back a pestilence best left dead. I know that he misunderstands the Force and seeks to tame it, to rule over it, and the only way he can do that is to smooth it over with philosophies and noble-sounding words to make it more like a whimpering pittin than a dragon. One should rise to the challenge, not belittle the challenge to match one's own leisure.
There are other concerns in the galaxy but none so great as the Jedi - not so much themselves, but the way that some people are beginning to look to them again. That was what killed the Old Republic, and I don't care to wait around for two hundred years before they accidentally reveal themselves as the charlatans they are. When the last of them is dead, then the galaxy will once gain be safe for order and civilization. |
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| Still on Korriban |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|09:40 pm] |
Things are getting more interesting now. It won't be much longer until we begin to exact our revenge on the Jedi for all they have done - in particular, not dying out after being beaten, but instead fanning their flames until they rose again from the ashes. I want to be the one to put them back down. I MUST be the one who makes that final cut through the last one's body and leaves the severed pieces to fall to the ground.
I am getting the feeling, though, that we are being manipulated. I realize that I know nothing about the man who gathered us to Geonosis and now has sent half of us to Korriban. It was that knowledge that made it impossible for me to savor the sight of finding a dead Jedi in the great Valley. (That, and the fact that he was dead before I got to him, instead of only after.) He had to have been killed by a Sith. And I was the first one to reach Korriban - except for the young Ger-Nig. And he has displayed the ability to use Force lightning, though sporadically. However, I doubt that he could lie by omission, pretending not to have been there and have it be falsehood; someone would know. I pick up on nothing false about him, and as far as I know, neither has anyone else.
This means that someone else must have been here to kill the Jedi. Simple electrocution is a cheap trick, one that the ancient Sith Lords would not have trifled with if there were other options. First of all, it's too quick; the heretic that treads upon the holy grounds should not be treated to such a swift death unless it is the only way to prevent further desecration. I have to believe that one of us was here and left the body. But who and why? My thoughts are that it was the man who hid in shadows while he spoke to us.
I still can't place where I've heard that voice before.
He wants the Jedi dead. He wants the right thing. For what reasons, we can only guess, and I'm still not sure that I'm not reading too much into it. But, as they say, better safe than sorry; there is a fine line between courage and stupidity and I don't intend to cross it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|07:46 pm] |
Our numbers are growing.
Our forces on Korriban number six, and soon a seventh will join us. I believe there are more with him, new Apprentices, weak but strengthening. I do not know how many, but my guess is two, which would give us nine - five Masters and four Apprentices? Sufficient, surely, to make sure there are no free Jedi left on Korriban after a short time.
As much as I would like to kill them, I think I would like to capture one, as well.
I still am not sure whether Trefitz was supremely inept or supremely wise. I start to think it is the former and then discover something new that makes me wonder. What I know is that I was trained by him, and I am alive. The training must have been adequate in some way. And it has taught me to fend for myself - the Master-Apprentice bond was never particularly strong and grew weaker over time. I could not depend completely on him. One may use others, work alongside others, but ultimately, one is alone.
It's never easy that way. Easy is to put away one's self-determination and obey commands like a droid. The best teachers are the ones who make themselves progressively unnecessary (who said that? I don't remember). But if there is one thing I don't want, it's an easy life. I don't need to grow soft.
Korriban is home to the faithful. One cannot lean back in a cushioned chair and let one's power slip here. It challenges one's spirit and you come away stronger. This was my experience the first time here, and once again I feel energized, even if some of the power has gone away. When will the mockers learn that they can't keep playing with the Force? This time they have gone too far in their game, and it will be to their destruction. If two Sith Lords were enough to wipe out all but two of them, they might as well lay down their arms and surrender to nine (and that is not even counting the ones going to Yavin IV and Coruscant). They won't, though. They'll keep their charades going, imagining themselves masters of the Force, until the final moment that their tenuous hold on it falls away and they are faced with the reality of their own deaths. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|03:30 pm] |
Soon I will be on my way to Korriban. This was a short trip indeed - not that I'm going to miss Geonosis, not by far. Too many others within too close of a distance, and the weather here is not really any better than Merooine. I can endure it, but I don't have to to like it.
Of course, to reach Korriban, I have to find it. I remember the coordinates to the Horuset system, luckily. I went to Korriban once, years ago, as a teenager, and recall that it brought on a dull sort of sadness, as if it echoed with whispers of a galaxy lost. And now... now it has been lost again. Raided by the Jedi. I can't imagine what they could want with the stored-away treasures deep within abandoned temples and tombs. To destroy them? That would be foolish, since, unlike them, a true Force user has no need for trinkets and toys. To take them as their own tools? They will learn that power comes from within, not from what is in one's hand. (Well, there are exceptions. The controls to the Death Star, for one. But I can't imagine the holier-than-thou Jedi using anything more powerful than a laser cannon or a blaster, because they fear it might harm someone.)
Therefore I can only assume that it is meant to draw us out of hiding. They must suspect that there are Sith still alive, and they want us to reveal ourselves. This means that either they have such extreme strength of numbers that they think they can overpower us, or they are more foolish than anyone had guessed. With the possible exception of the man who called us together to Geonosis. He disturbs me, and I'm certain I've heard his voice somewhere before. But I don't know enough about him to know whether or not he can be trusted as an agent of the Force. The Jedi are certain fakes. We will deal with them first.
And above all, we must not turn against each other. I don't like the idea of working with others and trusting them with much of anything. Because that's one thing that (and I hate to say this, I hate it very much) the Jedi have done better. Work as a group. To evil ends, surely, but they seem able to work towards a common goal and not destroy each other. Perhaps they are hoping to turn the remaining Sith, if they have any idea of our numbers, into rival factions and to the Jedi's work for them. Well, I won't play like that. I will not raise a hand against a fellow Sith, except to save my own life, until the last Jedi has been struck down. They will have to try harder if they want to win. They will have to call upon the Force in all its power and glory, not just the little friendly tip that they like to play with. Understand it in its light and its darkness (what is one without the other?). And if they do that, fully and completely, and realize the errors of their ways - then those that do might not be immediately destroyed after all. They might become brothers and sisters. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|07:41 pm] |
It was easy enough to get to Geonosis even without a ship. I learned basic piloting as a young girl and it was not a skill that my former Master allowed me to neglect. Of course, each ship is a little bit different, and there were, as can be expected, no TIE fighters leaving Merooine. I found a young man, a bit down on his luck, more than a little bit weak of mind, sitting alone in a run-down cantina. He needed two thousand credits for parts to repair his broken hyperdrive and another three thousand to pay off a crime lord...
That was a rip-off. I don't think his worn frighter, a sort of scaled-down version of the YT-1300, was worth that much all together. But of course, I said sweetly, I would get the parts if he could take me to Geonosis.
His name was Tose Gistock. I think he was about nineteen, with pale skin reddened by the harsh Merooine sun and liquid blue eyes. He needed the parts fast, he said, and I, playing the part of the ditzy girl in the wrong part of town, nodded and played along until he said all that I needed to hear. I could obtain the parts he needed and once on Geonosis I would get the rest of the money, as passenger fare. He started to refuse, but he didn't have a choice.
By evening we were gone, and by what would have been morning on Merooine, I directed him to touch down on a relatively flat area of rock in the middle of the desert. He was so nervous that he was sweating, and it was almost... kind, yes, to ensure that he wouldn't be running for his life much longer. I have no need for him now.
I told him to give me all the access codes to his ship, and he did, without hesitation. I used the mind trick, but that's what it's for, to expedite matters. And then I sent a series of strange images and thoughts to amplify his already-present fear. His heart couldn't take it, poor dear. I think that the carrion birds are having a lovely dinner. And I have a ship. It might not be much, but it'll do, and it can always be "traded" for something better. |
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| Something wicked your way comes... |
[Jul. 13th, 2005|09:29 pm] |
There were two of them, one with a blue lightsaber, one with yellow. The only light in the room came from the two blades and it was hard to see anything except the arms that held the sabers and the light dancing off my sheets. I was wrong; they had come, awakened by something, these two Jedi. There was no fear in either of them, just a dull sense of duty. But their thoughts were clear. They had come to kill.
In an instant I pulled my own lightsaber to my hand, a move that had become second nature, and I sprang to my feet. Besides surprise the feeling that dtruck me first was indignation; they who upheld justice and honor had broken into my room at a time when most would be vulnerable, intruding into my quarters and catching me in my nightrobe. That's enough! Liars, hypocrites, both, and ones who had made a fatal mistake.
A mental coin toss made the decision on which would be given swift passing; the man with the blue saber. It is more orderly, anyway, when opponents differ. Our weapons clashed but for a few moments, and then mine struck him in the left shoulder on a downward swing, detaching his head, neck, and right arm from the body that suddenly fell limp. Thought you could waltz in and put another notch on your handle, didn't you? So sorry that things didn't work out.
The second did prove to be the better fighter. The stack of boxes behind me fell as he pushed them with the Force, but there was plenty of time for me to leap, onto the footboard and then springing over him in an aerial somersault. I tried to hit him from the back, but he turned around just in time and brought up his own lightsaber to block the cut. He wouldn't make the mistake of leaving himself open and he would not easily tire.
I reached out my hand and detached the darkened light globes from the wall and hurled them at him. He blocked them and shattered them, as I had expected, but a noxious smell filled the room as their liquid splattered the floor and over him. He quickly deactivated his lightsaber as I approached, swinging my own as closer to the splatters as I could. They ignited.
In a few seconds he fell, with a wound from his neck to his waist and his clothes and skin ablaze. I stood back and waited; the automatic sprinklers in the room came on then, dousing everything with a thin film of water. I watched the flames disappear into wisps of smoke.
That little rat made me singe the bottom of my robe. I fished through his soggy pockets for anything of interest, and, finding nothing, cut him to pieces and left them on the floor. I'd have to explain it later, but that was of no importance. After all, I didn't have much of a problem explaining things to them.
You still have it, a voice said in my mind. I'd grown worried that you might have gotten soft.
"Trefitz, get the fuck out of my head," I said, aloud.
When you can make me go, then I will go. Now you, child. You will go to Geonosis. And there will be the birth of a new order and the final death of the Jedi.
I put up my mental wall to keep that wheezing voice away. As soon as I did, though, everything disappeared except the room. I turned around and saw my boxes stacked exactly as I'd left when I went to bed; the light globes were still on the wall; there were no severed bodies on the floor. I felt the urge to smash and slash things, but grabbed onto the footboard and forced my mind into a cold and enforced calm, a layer over the seething rage underneath. Fine. I will go. And heavens help any scum that tries to get in my way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
I have not had visions in a long time. There was a brief span when they came often, when the true power of the Force was still barely more than an ember in me and the cloak of lies had just begun to fall away. Not so different in content now, but different in perspective. Allow me to explain.
When your mind has been rinsed in bleach water and kept away from anything that might give it life's colors - trained up in austerity only for the sake of austerity, and to obsessively focus on what is weak - then to see in more than shades of pastel can be a frightening thing. Everything slowly pushed out of one's soul... whites and pale yellows and the lightest blue is all there is. Then, suddenly, the galaxy vibrates. The colors of fire, the colors of rebirth. It is almost too much to take in when you've been sheltered for so long.
Now I do not get visions often, and in fact this is the first one in years. The chaotic patterns of the Force do not terrify me the way they used to, though to say that there is no fear would be wrong. There is always some, and this is necessary. One does not look into the swirling mazes casually. But it served as a reminder of the stagnation of the worlds, the repression of the strong in order to balance them with the weak. We cannot progress that way. If the Jedi are content to dream of a future in which mediocrity reigns, and the best are nearly helpless as the masses destroy their powers out of an overabundance of fear and a fanatical obsession with equality, then that is their own failing. They only hurt themselves, naturally able to rise above the nonsense and impose a more stable will from above. I think they limit themselves because they are afraid of what they are capable of - capable of control, instead of weak guiding, and too blinded to see that the people below not only need more structure but will be better off in the long run when the best are rewarded and the weakest are punished. Survival of the fittest. It strengthens sentient races, and encourages top performance. Why they would cling to a system that encourages helplessness is beyond me.
Cowards feel fear and run away.
The brave feel fear and do it anyway.
I will not be party to a society that praises cowardice.
There was more than the dimly patterned frenzy of colors and emotion, though, this time. I heard a voice - a man's voice, words too distorted by distance and the interfering swirls to be understandable. But he was one with power - from the direction that his voice had come from, the pictures were that much brighter, moving that much faster. And it knocked me to my knees, for a moment, before the vision lifted and left me once again alone in the hotel room.
I do not know what this means. I will meditate further, and open my mind so that perhaps more will come to me in my sleep, with most of the barrier of consciousness down. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2005|07:27 pm] |
Well, that was quick.
Five hundred kilometers - well, five hundred and forty-one, actually - doesn't take long to cross in a landspeeder, and now I am at the hotel in Merrick City. The only one, really - there are two inns but to call them hotels would be an insult to the word. At 80 credits a day, it's high enough to keep the worst of the rabble out, but this is by Merooine standards, so plenty still get in.
The city itself offers some amazing sights, some good, some neutral, some bad, and mostly the last two. Today I explored the marketplace, which runs north/south and east/west in a cross pattern with the spaceport area and hotel in the northeast quadrant of the town. As one might imagine those are the standard shops and restaurants, but once one ventures south and west of the intersection things get more interesting. You might be surprised to know (or maybe not) that slavery is still big business in some parts of the galaxy, and one of those parts happens to be the southern part of Merrick City. There's quite a bit of gambling, too, and the two seem to go hand in hand. Many a person has found themselves a slave when they couldn't pay up their gambling debts.
I could have paid off a few of them, and I probably could have purchased a couple of slaves. But that would serve no purpose. One does not perform selfless acts with one's own money. I did send out a few feelers, though - proverbially speaking. They are mistrustful of the Jedi. I hadn't expected that to be any different, but the minds of the weak can sway so easily, especially under trickery. Good. This is a safe place, then, relatively speaking. Unfortunately the Jedi have not, as far as I can tell, deigned to stop the rise of these centers of petty villainy and the occasional crime lords that spring up and control areas of the planet. Which means that they won't come to me and I will have to go to them. I'll make sure they pay extra for my troubles.
The Jedi and the preachers of democracy do not have the power to keep a planet like Merooine from wasting its resources and its people. Shortly after an otherwise pleasant dinner near the central square I got to see a blaster fight. Two dead, and surely it was over something remarkably trivial - a handful of credits, a dilapidated ship at best. Two men mercenary enough to get into a blaster fight over a small amount of money could be put to much better use than dying and leaving a mess for the janitor. But no, there has to be self-rule, and that sort of thing.
Self-rule, my ass. Let morons lead morons and you end up with barely-surviving settlements where one could easily build a moderately functional mining system. I'll remember that should I ever be in a position to need one.
I think I'll go take a bath now. There's dust all over the place. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2005|08:09 pm] |
Tomorrow I leave for Merrick City. I've been sitting out here in the near wilderness, fifty kilometers from civilization and more than five hundred away from the nearest real city, for too long. I'm tired of dealing with all the informational middlemen, and there's nothing more to be learned in what is essentially isolation. It was necessary. This is what I tell myself, and there is a part of me that thinks it is nothing more than a lie, but the larger part knows this to be true: I needed this time, but need it no longer.
Trefitz had to die. It put me in a bit of a dangerous position, to off him when I did, but there was no better choice. To keep him alive would have kept me weak - reliant on him, a man who never did realize his potential. At his peak of power, when he could command the Force and flow with it at once, he did seem formidable to my eyes. To Jedi weakling eyes, he was a fearsome demon, and then later, a god. He was the one who showed me some of what a being one with the true Force could do... but only some. He knew I was stronger. He knew I would rise up and defeat him, and that was not the goal... he wanted me to serve, to fight alongside him, so that he would be lord over all and I would always stand in the shadows.
If it is the will of the Force that I be in the shadows, the second-best, and the one above has earned his or her place by true merit, so be it. The strongest will be on top. That is the natural way of things. Only a fool would attack a superior when weaker - then one won't live to see the day where he would fall. At best, one would live, but lose the knowledge one did not have time to take in. And only a fool would fail to attack a superior when stronger - because he or she is only holding you back. Once you have learned all you can learn, move on. You have all his lessons and then some. He is no longer necessary.
I have never been fully comfortable with the idea of careless destruction, and so I waited, wondering if there was anything more that Trefitz could show me. Beyond exposing the Jedi falsehoods... that passions are not to be avoided (such is the way of the Jedi) nor to be lost in (such is the way of the common man) but instead to be felt, redirected, and controlled. Beyond that love and hate are the same thing, with a 180-degree turn of the holographic plate. And there may have been, but he would not give anything more, for fear that he would one day fall to me.
And he did. He sat in his brown chair, looking towards a holographic helix in five colors - a meditation exercise - and I walked up right behind him. Activated my lightsaber (it was red, then; I left that one and constructed a second with blue crystals) and cut off his head. He didn't even seem to notice that I had come in.
For a long time I thought that Trefitz had been caught in a moment of weakness, and stupidity. He'd created a dangerous weapon, after all, in the form of me, and then let it loose - with access to his meditation room - and sat there, deep in his own trance. No precautions. Surely he must have known that I would, at some time, come in and cut him down, and I wondered what could have caused that lapse.
There was no lapse. It was his own failures - he had not upheld the Sith Code fully, and he knew it. Knew that he couldn't do it, that he had let himself grow weak, and he had the ultimate confidence in his handiwork. He knew I'd come in, and that it would cost him his life, but then I would no longer be an Apprentice. I would go on without him and be called a Sith Master.
And in that was a final lesson - control. It would have been all to easy for him to revert back to the whims of passion and anger, and fight back, but he already knew what I was capable of. He already knew the ending, and there was no need to waste time and energy to drag it out. It taught me that just because something isn't the usual way is no reason not to do it, and not having done something before is no reason not to. You do what's efficient. You do what works, and if you don't know, then you do what's most likely to work. As long as I was held back by his limitations, I would never reach the level of competency I am capable of, never able to instill the full amount of fear into the pretenders that I can. There is a popular misconception, that the Sith are chaotic killing machines, out to destroy for the sake of destruction, to cause trouble for no other reason than to cause trouble. Not true. Every ending is a beginning; the ending of one civilization is a fresh slate where something new can be created, something better and more orderly than the first.
Chaos is a temporary mandatory step. The current structures have the blind leading the blind. Order can only be achieved when the strongest are standing at the top - and pure democracy negates this. The Jedi are not only partially blind themselves, but willfully putting the folds over others' eyes, lying to themselves. If there is one thing I cannot stand it is people who can't own up to the truth. They want power and control as much as we do, but we admit it. They pretend they serve the people whom they make to serve them. Liars.
It's taken me eight years to grasp what Trefitz tried to show at the end of his life, but I have taken it to heart, and feel that now I have truly passed his lessons. And it is time to leave the seclusion of the mountains and return fully to the universe, to rid it of that which holds it back from progress.
The next Senate election will be held in three months. That should prove interesting, if nothing else - watching thousands work themselves into a tizzy over an election that is essentially meaningless. The Merooine senator and eight others convene and elect a single representative out of the nine to go to the Core Worlds. They are, in essence, one-ninth of a planet, if that, and yet they act as though it's the be-all and end-all of existence. Merooine has never held any power over the other eight inhabited planets in the six closest systems in over 400 years. Economics? Not really. Mostly a weakness in the people. One would think that a harsh environment would make them harder, but instead they've settled into a borderline slavish complacency, and the chosen senator is generally the one who pays the most bribes - not the one with any strength of mind or body. Only strength of credit stacks.
Yes, it will be something interesting to watch. Maybe I will do more than watch. It depends on what happens once I get there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2005|08:01 pm] |
When the truth is distasteful and the lie is sweet, people will believe the lie. In fact, one might not even have to lie, because weak minds turn away from anything that makes them uncomfortable and invent their own explanations so that they don't have to confront what is real.
I do not like receiving guests. Or rather, visitors; a guest would be someone I invite in, and I would not invite anyone into my home without a very good reason if they are from this planet. Merooine. It sounds like some exotic overpriced wine one would find in one of the more highbrow cantinas. Mostly human settlers, mostly weak, though I've seen my share of Twi'leks, and a few others passing through. The hot and arid climate must remind them of Ryloth.
Trans-Ridge Pipelines finally got around to building water pipelines between the western and eastern ridges of the northeastern quatrisphere. The noise from their drilling is incredibly annoying, and today they finally realized that there is a house a half-kilometer up Mount Nelian, and of course I had two salesmen trying to sell me their water service.
I could have done any number of things. I could have killed them, I could have mind-tricked them into leaving, or I could have taken my time in scaring them silly. But I didn't. Let them in, made some iced tea, and then firmly explained that I wasn't interested. Looked at the little swirls of energy coming off of them - almost invisible, the weak Force signature of one not sensitive. Have moisture collectors already installed, extending from the roof; don't need your pipeline.
The older one looked around as they were leaving. If the grey and red color scheme gave him pause, he didn't show it, but then again he was no real threat and normal precautions were all that were necessary. His eyes did settle on the obsidian urn sitting on the grey stone mantle, with its gold flecked exterior. He wanted to ask about it but thought it would be rude.
"My father," I said, closing my eyes for a moment, the way a person would who was over an old hurt, but still felt it a little bit from time to time.
"Well, I'm sorry then, Miss Baclaw," he said. "We won't take up any more of your time."
My father, hah. I don't even remember my father. He was a human, if alive he must be somewhere between fifty and... as old as a human can be, and there is a very good chance his surname would be Baclaw. That's it. And it doesn't make much difference, anyway; those aren't his ashes in the jar. Those would be the ashes of a Jedi Knight, Engo Ustrel. Slain by Darth Trefitz, the Sith, twenty-one years ago. Both were my Masters, but neither deserve the title. Ustrel was not a Master because I was his first Padawan, and did not complete the trials before his death. Trefitz became too weak as he aged and, dare I say it (of course!) beginning to go insane. He at least realized he had no choice but to step aside, or be swept aside.
In any case, those ashes mask my presence to anyone who might come looking for me. I imagine the Jedi have too much to worry about to attempt to trace the whereabouts of a Padawan missing more than two decades ago, but one can never be sure.
I think it's time for me to leave Merooine, though. There's no reason to stay, and I'm not going to grow any stronger just sitting here. I've studied and practiced as much as I reasonably can on my own and at this point isolation would only make me weaker. Here there is a lot of... wasteland... desert... a tiny patch or two of grassland at each of the poles. Weary miners, a few smugglers. We're mostly out of the reaches of the Republic but there is no power to be had here unless I want to be the Dark Lady of the Silver Gem Mines.
I don't think so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|04:52 pm] |
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Comment here to be added. |
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darth_inferna's journal
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